Being a man is a challenge. It’s hard. But when you are born into this world a boy, you are biologically wired a certain way. The more we can embrace this the happier we will be.

This was something that really clicked for me about 4 years ago. Prior to that, I was a motivated person. I was fairly athletic growing up. I exercised pretty decently compared to others, but I also could barely hang a picture.

One of the biggest reasons it took me a while to get to where I am today is because I spent 7 years of my life without my Dad. He was in jail. This was a very weird experience for me because the father figure in my life that I grew up with wasn’t there to model it for me. I eventually had a stepdad but it just wasn’t the same.

I spent a lot of time feeling weird. There was something missing. I could not put my finger on it.

The event that changed this for me was getting engaged. The thought process that started for me was that I was going to be a husband and hopefully one day a father. I refused to fail at this like the life I had. I would never let that happen. This triggered something in me to send me searching for meaning. What is being a man?

Again, you will hear me go back to this quite a bit and it’s thinking about the basic form of us as a species. Biologically men are wired to be wild, fighting and finding the next food for their family. I have had a pretty sedentary job for most of my career and I really started to think about how I could tap into the man inside of me. Quickly, I resorted to focusing on my health and being A LOT more active. This helped drastically. I would think clearer, be calmer, and ultimately be a better person.

I ensured I was making time for spending time with other men. We need this. It’s not fair to put all of our problems on the women in our lives. It is very easy to get married and become best friends with your wife. The next thing you know you are either trying to talk to her about your problems which are very difficult to relate to if you are a woman or not saying anything at all. This is why you need to make sure you are spending time with other men.

Last but not least, I sought counseling. I decided to get professional help. This was the best decision of my entire life. It was really awkward at first but quickly I found myself opening up and working through traumas I had experienced in my life consistently all the time.

In the end, I just want to encourage men and women to embrace men as men. It will make us better husbands, father’s and our future sons and men will benefit from this.